Corporate Strategy
Corporate Strategy
145. Who Leads the Leaders?
Picture your worst workplace blunder; now add some humor and you've got the essence of our tales of daily office mishaps. From the panic of accidentally deleting vital Jira tickets to the chaos of a protein shake explosion, we explore how these mini-disasters compare to scenes straight out of a horror movie. Laugh along as we discuss the importance of humor as a coping mechanism for the chaos of corporate life, and take a moment to check in on our mental batteries that are running a bit low.
Ever wondered about the magic behind a McRib or the reality of bioengineered meat? Our conversation takes a whimsical turn as we dive into fast food delights and the idea of capturing ambient sounds from unique locations like your favorite burger joint. As we tackle serious topics such as corporate leadership and accountability, we maintain a playful tone by introducing a new segment with a humorous twist. Tune in for a fun-filled episode packed with relatable stories and a healthy dose of laughter!
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Don't forget ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ it helps!
I want to know why I'm being squirreled. That's what I want to know. Someone's squirreling me.
Speaker 2:I squirreled you bad, you squirreled me real bad, and I want to know why I am so late to the start of this podcast. I am so sorry.
Speaker 1:I watched two-thirds of a Hot Ones episode whilst waiting for you.
Speaker 2:Those are fantastic.
Speaker 1:Two-thirds that's a lot of hot. They're really fantastic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, have you done it.
Speaker 1:Have you done the challenge? No, but I totally could. I could, yeah, yeah, I like. I like the hot. Um, it's weird. You know, remember earlier in the year I talked about my stomach issue, like the I it. What's really strange is you, I had to do like no acid, no hot sauce, no coffee, no, nothing for that that period of time. But I came out of it with a higher tolerance for hot than before. Taste wise, stomach wise, like it will. If I eat too much hot sauce, it just feels like there is like a bowling ball in my stomach, which is not good. But I love the hot. Oh, just, I will Any chance I get. If I know that I can like balance it out, like take a Pepsi or something beforehand, oh, give me the hot, just slather it on.
Speaker 2:So good. I like the. I like the flavor of hot, like I don't mind, like the mouth tingling I kind of like those flavors, my stomach disagrees completely. I will die most.
Speaker 1:Most people have the disagreement on exit. That's not me, my my exit is used to it, I can handle it's actually, it's in my actual stomach. You know like I feel it up here, that's, you know, it's not, it's not down low.
Speaker 2:Mine's low. It's like the stomach starts churning.
Speaker 1:That's where most begins yes, you get it either in the mouth or down South. I get it in the middle Just because of my weird stomach lining. But yeah, I love the hot. I just got to be careful I can't do too much of it, especially if I'm doing super hot.
Speaker 2:I will feel bad for a week. Have you done Da?
Speaker 1:Bomb? No, I haven't. I've been really tempted. Actually, this is not a Hot Ones promotion podcast, but this season's hot sauce lineup. They have looks just absolutely delicious. Uh, and like I will say, I've bought. I've bought the hot ones hot sauces just for my local grocer. Not nearly as good as the third party hot sauces they have on there, like the uh chairman mao the fat cat sauce. Oh, it's one of my favorite sauces of all time. It's so good I could I could drink it from the bottle. It's that good wow, yeah my wife.
Speaker 2:She likes watching those and I watch those and I immediately feel my rear end on fire. It's always feel the tingle I see him doing that. I'm like you're gonna regret it. I'm like, three hours from now, you're're going to be in pain.
Speaker 1:You'll be living on the toilet. You know, what does that to me actually is the Thai hot. The Thai hot can trigger me in a fun and exciting way. It is just a fantastic way to clean out my body and, given some of the noises that were heard in the previous episode, I do have to give the disclaimer I had not had Thai hot before we recorded it.
Speaker 2:By the way, there's no proof. I mean, I know you instantly blamed it on Craig. That sounds sus.
Speaker 1:You know what I say Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
Speaker 2:Is it it? Do you pronounce it day rochelle, day rochelle, it's it's. It's the reichel, the reichel. Okay, so that is it, it's the reichel. Yes, on our discord, the reichel. You heard him, you heard the man.
Speaker 1:He said whoever smelt it dealt it that's what I'm saying we need to have him on our pod one day. By the way, he is a very cool profession that I would love to have us talk about.
Speaker 2:That would be awesome. Yeah, yes, he's been constantly contributing too, so absolutely Should definitely bring him on.
Speaker 1:He's a good friend. He's a good friend. Constantly contributes to my life. Shout outs, shout outs to whoever smelt it, dealt it.
Speaker 2:Well, I need you to contribute to my life. I need something from you. Yes, this is really important. Okay, yeah, why'd you squirrel me? No, no, I'm not even. I need you. I need you. Listen, listen, I'm gonna get really close.
Speaker 1:I need you.
Speaker 2:I need you to tell me something that you did that was so stupid recently and you're like I'm an idiot. I just need you to tell me that. Do you have an example?
Speaker 1:Yeah, um, I do stupid stuff every day, uh, you know. But like I we talked about this before one of my strengths is that I'm willing to just absolutely own it and in fun and exciting ways. Something stupid.
Speaker 2:What stupid thing that I do this week, and the reason that I need you to do this is because I am absolute mush right now and right before this call. I did something so stupid and I just let it happen. I'm going to explain what it is after you tell me. I need you to make me feel better as part of this vibe.
Speaker 2:But it literally happened right in front of me and I just let it happen for much longer than I should have Cause I was like I'm an idiot. How did that just happen? So I need you to make me feel better about my really sad life.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to think of like something really stupid I've done, cause you know like I make. I make mistakes all the time Like oh, you know, I sent the wrong Jira ticket, or I updated the wrong Jira ticket, or I deleted the wrong. I make a lot of stupid mistakes in Jira all the time, but I'm just like I'm an idiot, you can't expect me not to do this, so that's the easy stuff. I'm trying to think like what's a big stupid mistake? That?
Speaker 2:I've made. It doesn't have to be that. Mine is not that big.
Speaker 1:I just felt really stupid after I did it, so it doesn't have to be big okay, I mean I, I literally did delete a couple jira tickets this week, like on our review call with the team, just like you know, just deleted it. There's the wrong ones. He's like let's delete these. Okay, proceed to delete actual usable things like ah, you have to forgive me, I am an idiot, so you know the parent just excuse, you know, and everybody just says, oh yeah, it's bruce, he's an idiot it's, it's fine, he's, he's, you know, special.
Speaker 1:But we like him. We keep him around for the entertainment factor.
Speaker 2:I hope you were on camera when you did it and I hope all of them were like saying in their head wait, wait, that's the wrong one, that's the wrong one and no one said it in time and you just hit the bleep. That's the funny thing, right?
Speaker 1:Like I'm always on camera because we're a completely global company, so you can always see my foolishness just in real time. But they're they're far too nice to tell me I'm being an idiot, so like I have to be mean to myself to make up for the fact that they won't say stop, wait, don't go, wait, stop, it's gone.
Speaker 2:Still eat it gone forever, I like it gone forever, never to come back now I gotta tell you mine, what'd you do?
Speaker 2:so I drink a protein shake in a little bottle every day. It's at my desk, you know, just drinking a protein shake. After I drink my protein shake, usually like add a little water in and like just get all the little bits, you know, otherwise it just all sticks to the side and you have 10% of protein shake just sitting there. So you got to mix in a little water, get the rest right. So I have my water bottle. I'm going to show you visually this is great podcasting material. I have my water bottle that I'm pouring into the thing and I just completely missed. And the natural human thing would be a stop right. Like you're clearly seeing, you're missing the bottle.
Speaker 2:You should stop your brain should tell you dude, stop, it's going everywhere. I just let it happen for much longer, for much longer than I should have. I just poured water all over my desk keyboard a little pad I have like a notepad here. I ruined a note. It was all bleeding ink everywhere. Nice after that.
Speaker 1:I just kind of sat there like I'm an idiot have you ever considered that you were in a horror movie? An idiot. Have you ever considered that you were in a horror movie? No, I've never. You know, that's like one of those big horror movie tropes is like the second day of possession or infection or whatever it is. They're always like pouring their drink into the coffee cup that it's slowly starts to overflow and they're like wait, stop, no, wait, stop, please wait. And they're like huh, what I didn't realize. I was possessed by the demonic 12 year old girl presence from the last three movies. Huh, I did that and tomorrow you're gonna kill somebody well, that's the natural trend.
Speaker 2:But that's the progression of things yeah, the good news is for what she just said. I didn't even make it in the cup, I know well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think this is totally different they do have like a good aim it makes it into the cup yeah, see, like what I'm gonna make the noise.
Speaker 2:I just did a little bit. This is how close they are and I somehow just missed yeah, you just missed it.
Speaker 1:That's how much you continue to miss.
Speaker 2:I just let it happen. I just sat there like hand tilted over, just pouring water over my desk and I'm like, wow, wow, that's all I have to say. It's my vibe check. I just needed you to tell me you did something stupid, so I felt better about me.
Speaker 1:You know what I did. Do you know what I did?
Speaker 2:I mean I don't, but now I want to know.
Speaker 1:Welcome back to Corporate Strategy, the podcast. It could have been an email. I'm Bruce.
Speaker 2:And I can't believe we haven't said that yet.
Speaker 1:So that's your vibe check. I am actually doing the exact same as you. I think I am at a if our brains are batteries, right, like if our brains are batteries and they're not, but let's pretend for a moment they are. I'm at like five percent flashing red. Stop, please stop, wait, stop. Please plug in recharge, please charge. You're about to die. That's, that's where I'm at right now, and it's not for any one reason, it's for a thousand little reasons. That's where I'm at right now and, uh, I don't see it getting better anytime soon. It's just too many irons, too many fires, too many projects. I'm so. I'm so tired, clark. I'm so tired, clark, I'm so tired. I really just want to like mush. I want to mush hard on the couch in my bed, yeah, on the couch again, in the bathtub with some salts. I want to mush. You know what I'm saying, baby.
Speaker 2:I like to mush. Yeah, mush or mush, doesn't matter. I like to mush on the couch, mush on the bed, mush in the tub, mush on the couch again.
Speaker 1:Just mush. I thought you were gonna make a rhyme. I mean, you really just mush on the couch, mush in the bed, mush in the tub, mush in my head. Come on Like, if you're gonna do do a four-part stanza, at least end on a rhyme. Clark, I'm too low battery. Don't let the listener down. I'm at 5%. You're at 2%. Your phone's like you really should be in lower power mode right now. Turn it on.
Speaker 2:My battery's about to pull the plug and just end it. I might not make it through this, I might. He's about to pull the plug and just end it. I might not. I might not make it through this podcast we'll see.
Speaker 1:We'll see. I didn't even ask you if you had a topic what are these times?
Speaker 1:we should just deadline it after the vibe check and just not come back the vibe check is episode over over in 10 minutes of silence, or or or mall ambience for 10 minutes straight I wish I collected more mall ambience when I was there because, honestly, I could have listened to that just on repeat as sort of like focus me. You know we're we are going to do more locations. I'm thinking about like calling some places that I frequent and be like, hey, would it wig you out if I come and record a podcast with my bestie here? We will not be disrespectful, I promise, and just get some ambience, get that ombre. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I mean, we have our second location. It's got to be the Golden Arches.
Speaker 1:I think that will be no problem. I think we can record there and no one will care.
Speaker 2:You know there's weirder things that have happened in that restaurant. This is the least weird.
Speaker 1:You're taking time off for the holiday, right?
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's just preemptively.
Speaker 2:Day after Christmas.
Speaker 1:Day after Christmas, you, me and Mickey D's Breakfast. You know how many old people are gonna be there.
Speaker 2:McGriddle In hand. That sounds fantastic.
Speaker 1:I could destroy a McGriddle right now, my friend, I could destroy it. You me, mickey D, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:You know what they did say, though the McRib is back, the.
Speaker 1:McRib is back, that is because they're afraid of getting shot.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:I watched Clark have to process that in real time. He looked at me like what did you just say? And then it. Then it broke oh, the McRib.
Speaker 2:I've never had a McRib, but all the fuss about the McRib makes me want to get the McRib. I know it's not good meat. I know it's probably like the chicken nugget meat that they use and they just bundle it together, you know, but I want to try it.
Speaker 1:You ever tried a McCrispy? I don't know what you're saying. A McCrispy, well, a spicy McCrispy actually, I think, is McDonald's' best dish. It's not their French fry, but I will asterisk French fry fresh at the fryer. After five minutes those French fries are literal trash, but fresh at the fry, nothing comes close. The spicy mcchrispy and the mcchrispy itself delicious, crispy chicken sandwich, like okay so it's better.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. It's the chicken sandwich.
Speaker 1:I eat a lot of trash food. You know I enjoy trash. Uh, as it's just, you know, as a food type, the mcrib is okay. I think that I think the problem with the mcib is actually the fact that deep down, you know, something's just fundamentally wrong with the sandwich. Oddly, it tastes like rib meat and it has rib meat texture, but there's no bones. But it is shaped like there are bones. It is shaped like there are ribs and I think there's an unsettling factor that comes in with the McRib that just throws off your game. It is delicious, though you can't go wrong eating that sandwich, outside of the fact that it's actual garbage.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm down for some McGriddles. Alright, lock it in Corporate strategy raw Corporate strategy.
Speaker 1:Raw at Mickey D it's going to be awesome.
Speaker 2:the ambiance in that place is gonna be electric.
Speaker 1:We're actually gonna capture some. You know what I'm calling it right now. Corporate strategy is gonna put out 2025. We're gonna put out an album. It's gonna be called sounds of the workplace Coming to Apple Music. I'm being 100% serious right now. I'm going to capture some ambiance 10 minutes of ambiance from your favorite workplace locations. We're going to have to sneak into a server room. You know a good server room we can sneak into. Just capture 10 minutes of delicious ambiance.
Speaker 2:I got a few.
Speaker 1:We can make that 10 tracks 2025.
Speaker 2:Each one we would have done a corporate strategy. Raw episode at.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if they'd let us. Otherwise, I'll just sneak in and capture that ambiance and we'll make it sound like we did.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean we could try to sneak in and like whisper a podcast. It'd have to be a short one.
Speaker 1:I don't. Well, no, this would pick up the. We could pick up the whisper, but I think eventually the ambience would overpower the whisper yeah, you're right, you might be right, especially server room you know you.
Speaker 2:I got news. You talked about the mcrib, the texture. You made me think of something. You made me think of something I heard on the interwebs ai, the boom of tech. The other thing that's kind of taken off right now is biotech and bioengineering. Something big is happening, I think, in Southeast Asia at the moment. They're starting to bioengineer protein. They're 3D printing bioengineered chicken breasts and selling them at a premium. No chickens, no chickens around.
Speaker 1:They are selling the cutlets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's bio meat. It's bio engineered meat, 3d printed. Because obviously, if you're in Japan, if you're in Korea, there's no rooms for these massive chicken farms. Where are you going to put a chicken farm? So what do they do? They go to China and they get them to get their chicken farms to import chicken. What they figured out how to do is bioengineer chicken. It's got the same nutritional density, protein, fat, carbs. It tastes and feels the same, apparently. But obviously it's super expensive. You want like one chicken breast can be like 13 bucks right now, just one. So it's super expensive.
Speaker 1:So double the cost of regular, regular meat yeah, it's just a singular, though.
Speaker 2:It's not like you get multiple. It's pretty pricey, but obviously that's going to go down I'm game this tech gets better I'm super game.
Speaker 1:I I was vegan for a while and then I was diagnosed with celiacs Misdiagnosed, by the way and I gave up the veganism. I don't like eating creatures, you know. Like I do feel it is a necessary evil. I think our bodies need animal fat, they need animal meat, like we need those things. You know I'm not a science, we're not a science podcast and I'm not Joe Rogan, so I'm not going to go in either direction. But I am going to say there has been studies done that say that, like you know, we are omnivores. We do need a certain amount of food from all sources in our diet.
Speaker 1:On the opposite end of the spectrum, have you seen, people are getting scurvy because they're just not eating vegetables anymore. Like, yeah, it's a problem. But here's the thing If I feel like with technology and science and biology and all of the things we've figured out, we could definitely master meat and like get away from factory farming, because that's just like that's hell on earth for animals, and I would love, love, love, love, love, love, if you just said, hey, I grew this chicken wing in a test tube and I say I will eat that chicken wing covered in hot sauce, I don't care. I really don't care, and no animal had to get hurt for this or anything. I'm so sold, I'm so in. Bring it on, I'll pay the premium, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I agree, I'm right there with you.
Speaker 1:I'm like that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2:See, I don't have anything wrong with eating animals. I like to eat a good steak, yeah, piece of chicken. But yeah, the farm things are bad. Bad for the chickens, bad for the animals, bad for the chickens, bad for the animals. It's bad for you. Yes, it doesn't scale.
Speaker 1:What are you going to do with all these massive chicken farms.
Speaker 2:Of course it's going to get more debts for them and these farms that they put them in these little tiny cubes. It's really depressing.
Speaker 1:It is.
Speaker 2:So I think we can bioengineer food. It's a huge win for humanity.
Speaker 1:I'm down. I'm so down, unlike last episode. I am just in 100% agreement with you Close the book. Let's go, let's bring that here. I'm ready.
Speaker 2:I think with the advancement of AI, large language models, all that stuff, that's going to spin the flywheel of learning on this stuff so we can engineer it to be better, faster. So I think it's going to come to markets near you sooner than you think. I would like to have a 3D printed chicken goop corporate strategy logo that I could eat on a bun at Mickey D. That'd be incredible. A blow-dry logo Mickey D makes it on the fly.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. 3d print the McRib. Yep, you wouldn't feel so weird about it if it had our logo on it. You'd eat the corporate strategy McRib.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would do a lot of stuff for this podcast.
Speaker 1:I would do just horrible things to keep this podcast going.
Speaker 2:Oh man.
Speaker 1:So yeah, if we have donors who've gone to the buy us a coffee just know this is what your money's going towards. Keep us ad-free. Keep us at Mickey D Nice rhymes. I'm loving it. I'm going to continue to do it now that I'm on the path.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think you're plugged into the charger. I feel like your energy is improving.
Speaker 1:This podcast is a salve for my soul.
Speaker 2:I agree, me too Therapy.
Speaker 1:Yes, you got a topic today, clark.
Speaker 2:I do to therapy. Yes, you got a topic today. Clark, I do have a topic. We have no way. Okay, first of all, we gotta address something. We lied, we said we'd have a surprise. I mean, I said I didn't, I volunteered you. I said we'd have a surprise extra episode. We didn't do an extra episode.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, bonus pod. Never did it, not gonna do it either, not gonna happen. I mean at this point no, it's a total lie before.
Speaker 2:That's a management decision right there remember that thing you were looking forward to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we cut it no well, you're gonna give you the bonus pod in the form of another raw cs raw.
Speaker 2:You're gonna get cs raw, okay, okay. So you know, if you really want an extra episode, tell us on the Discord. Tell us on the Discord you really want that bonus pod. We'll make it happen, I promise. But if no one says anything, we're not doing it. Management decision.
Speaker 1:We know they listened to the end. They heard the fart.
Speaker 2:We all heard the mysterious fart. I found the exact second. If you're curious, get in our Discord and you can find out exactly what we're talking about.
Speaker 1:The fart heard round the pod. It'll be known as. Should I update the title of the previous episode? Like the AI episode Also, there's a fart in it.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:There was a live fart. See what that does for SEO. I wasn't so sure about those corporate strategy boys, but that fart episode really turned things around for me.
Speaker 2:It's a perfect plug for a Discord too, because if you want to know exactly where that is, I linked you the exact second it happens if you're curious, you want to know how to get in the Discord.
Speaker 1:You've got to wait and find out. It's true, you've got to wait. We're not. It's true, you got to wait. We're not going to tell you right now.
Speaker 2:Just a hint, it's not far away, just like scroll a little bit, you'll probably find it. You find it.
Speaker 1:You find it. So what are we talking about today?
Speaker 2:We got a big thing to talk about, okay, okay, I'm going to wait on you. You don't have a topic, do you? You don't?
Speaker 1:have a topic. You've been spinning these wheels.
Speaker 2:You've been running me down. I do have something. This was going to be the episode topic last time that I saved for this time. This was the bonus pod episode we were supposed to do. Oh, that's right Before. We just derailed an AI. So I do have something, but it would have been really funny if I didn't. So I'm kind of disappointed. I didn't just troll you.
Speaker 1:I totally forgot you had a topic last week Like the AI. The conversation was too good.
Speaker 2:Too good not to do. We had to do a whole episode on it. My topic I've been struggling lately A five-level will help a whole lot.
Speaker 1:Episode over. Thanks for listening to Corporate Strategy.
Speaker 2:We already talked hot sauce. We talked mcrib. I don't think indigestion is going to be my number one priority, but it might be up there now. It's going to be bad.
Speaker 1:The new year's going to be rough we've spent more time talking about digestion on this episode than anything else.
Speaker 2:You know what? And and podcast. Let's just release this one too. We'll get to the topic next time.
Speaker 1:Bonus pod next week. Hey, I want to thank our listeners for joining us today. If you like what you heard, you can get everything on our link tree. Just go ahead and click that You'll figure it out. Have fun. I'm Clark.
Speaker 2:Peace. You remember when we used to ask them to guess the day our podcast says if they don't know what day it is today, what?
Speaker 1:do they gotta?
Speaker 2:help them. Yeah, god help. What do you stop listening like at that point, if you haven't figured us out, oh boy, okay, okay, okay, all seriousness, we're gonna rapid fire, we gotta Okay. So I've been struggling, at my level of my position, with where the value is in a big enterprise Like what? What value do I derive? And let me lay it out for you, cause I want to get your opinion.
Speaker 2:So we're we're a large organization. We have a lot of teams working a lot of different stuff and my ownership is over some of our guest-facing technology, so websites, apps, things like that. Of course, there's a lot of stuff that's happening on other teams that also needs to be on the websites, on the apps and all that good stuff. So they need to kind of coordinate with me in order to get their stuff live good to go. All that good stuff, that good stuff. Speaking of all that good stuff, I have been told it is better for me to help facilitate getting stuff done and getting alignment than driving each piece of work, and I get that. You know there's a balance there.
Speaker 1:Say that one more time. I want to make sure I heard what you just said. Repeat that.
Speaker 2:So I've been told, you know, when I'm given a task and I'm given a strategy when I work've been told these broader programs that I'm not driving. They've been struggling to actually get done. Could be a skillset issue, could be a leadership issue, could be whatever it is. And I've been tasked with helping facilitate the owners of those things get the things done. And so I'll lay it out for you. That was kind of the general feedback. But I kind of came in with a hypothetical to a very high up leader and so I'll lay it out for you.
Speaker 2:That was kind of the general feedback, but I kind of came in with a hypothetical to a very high up leader and I'm like, hey, what do you value more Getting things done and learning quickly, or getting everybody on board, keeping everybody happy and then getting the thing done? And I was kind of told the second thing it's more about. You want to get the alignment, you want to get all that figured out, no matter how long it takes, and you want to release with everybody on board, rather than just push it forward and make some people unhappy along the way because they're not going to please everybody. So I want to open that up to you to the people and just talk about it? Where do you find that balance? Because I kind of felt deflated. I'm like so I've been told, do get less things done but still do just as much work trying to get other people to get things done. And that's kind of what I heard, and maybe I'm hearing it wrong. So I wanted to get your thoughts.
Speaker 1:Classic Punxsutawney, pennsylvania, people problem. Classic, yeah, I mean, they've written books on this. Yeah absolutely Easy to solve what you just referenced.
Speaker 2:Was that a real thing or were you just rhyming?
Speaker 1:Just rhyming, just rhyming on top of my head. Yeah, you know, I just I'm looking for that quadruple P alliteration. You know when I can get it? Uh, firstly. Firstly, clark, I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I can tell this is painful, and also I'm sorry because, unfortunately, you have what's called bad leadership. Yeah, they have seen you as the strong pillar. You and your team are the ones who can get it done, and they've now realized, huh, we could do something about the folks that are incapable of solving their problems. Not going to do that, or we could just give it to Clark and have him and his great team of fantastic individuals optimize and solve this problem for us, because they know you're problem solvers and they know if they give this to you, it's no longer their problem to solve, it's your problem to solve and it's going to aggravate you and you're going to try and make it better. It's just what it actually is. It's weak leadership. This is their problem to solve and they have just deleg what it actually is.
Speaker 2:It's weak leadership like this is their problem to solve and they have just delegated it to you it's you know it's actually an interesting perspective, one I appreciate your condolences, thank you for for any time, but I never actually thought about it like that. But it's a good point. It's like the other teams, organizations, whatever it might be, because I've been asked like, hey, get in there, help them form the strategy, join effort with them. They're driving, but you're helping, like, help them move it across finish line. I struggle with that because I'm like I want to get in there and I want to do the things that make the most sense. I don't want to integrate with these teams who I have no power over, no management over, and then be like okay, guys, here's the thing that logically needs to be done Go do it and then step away and hope they do it.
Speaker 2:And then I come back and, of course, they didn't do it Like I know, and I'm just like, okay, this thing's still sitting here, I don't control these, I can't manage them. I'm like, okay, guys, did you do the thing? And at some point I break and I say I'm going to go do the thing because I know it needs to get done, that's what they were waiting for. And I kind of been told well, it's funny, because I've been told don't do that, but still help them, drive it forward. And I'm like this is crazy.
Speaker 1:What would happen if you came back to the person who asked you to do this and say, hey, I've done an evaluation. I don't think this situation is salvageable. I think we've got a clean house.
Speaker 2:Just fire everyone. Yeah, what would they do?
Speaker 1:Do you think they would? No, yeah, correct, that's what I thought. Cheaper to keeper Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, correct, that's that's what I thought. Cheaper to keep her.
Speaker 1:The problem is, the problem is not bad enough for your business to say, yeah, I want to pay severance for all these people like they suck, but they're not problematic right like this. This is like the most corporate thing. I want to keep these people around because it's cheaper to just give them the salary and get the marginal work they produce than to have to go through the firing process, pay them out, take that hit and then onboard and hire new people, which I just don't feel like doing, and I'd probably have to pay them more money because they're coming in from the outside. Like this is corporate. Yeah, which I just don't feel like doing, and I'd probably have to pay them more money because they're coming in from the outside. Like this is corporate. This is classic corporate. I don't miss this so much.
Speaker 1:I forgot this was a thing you know. Restrepo and I used to have to do this a lot when we were in marketing at Big Corp. It was just can you go help these ineffective people at being ineffective, because y'all clearly can do the job. They can't and there's no fixing that problem from a big corp. Unfortunately, you got to wait till layoff season.
Speaker 2:Man I don't think we ever have layoff season. Man I don't think yeah, have layoff season that's well, that's even worse. So let me, let me bring this to you, as if you, if you had your big corp company, you had a large enterprise, people working on stuff, you got a ton of revenue coming in. If you had something, if you set a, an important objective for the company, for your organization to accomplish, what's the logical thing to do? It's like, hey, this is super important. What's the next step you take?
Speaker 2:that idea and you say I'm going to find the right person to do the job, that I can trust to help achieve this objective, and I'm going to hold them accountable and I know they'll be accountable right, logically, yes, logically yes, you're correct, corporations don't use logic why I brought this up?
Speaker 2:because I was like, hey, I'm just struggling to see where I fit in in driving this thing forward, like I'm joining the meetings, I'm there, I'm providing the input where it's valuable and then I'm outlining the next steps, but my team isn't doing it. So I outline the next steps and I step away and then we check in and I'm like, hey, is the thing done? The thing's not done, or it was done, it was terrible. And I was like, ok, so I can either ask them again to do the thing again or I can just do it myself. And what ends up happening?
Speaker 2:By doing myself, I mean utilize my team and have my team help do it. So not just all on me, but it's like then we take it on. I'm obviously being held accountable to make this thing great. So, yeah, obviously I to jump in and get my hands dirty, get my team to do it, cause I trust my team, I know they're going to get it done. But I'm being asked like that's not you, that's them. But you still have to be there, you still have to provide input, you still have to make sure it gets done. And I'm like I can't. What do you mean I have to provide, I have to be helpful and help it get done. You told me not to drive it.
Speaker 1:This is like a lose-lose situation for you too, because if you do nothing it's a poor reflection on you. But if you show up to their meetings and you start telling them, hey, I need y'all to suck less, here's how you do that Like, follow this easy to do model that me and my team do and have no problem doing, if you're just a normal, regular brain, human being, but y'all are so smooth-brained you could wax a bowling ball with the solution. You lose there because now they're going to hate you. You're going to come in, they're going to say this guy's ineffective. He's showing up and he's telling us what to do. He has no idea how things work here. He doesn't understand our team, our dynamic, how we work. He doesn't understand our team, our dynamic, how we work.
Speaker 1:Like it is lose, lose, lose all the way down, see, and the classic problem is like not your job to solve, right, this was never your problem. This was never your responsibility. This is leadership's problem to solve, and they delegated it to you to absolve themselves of any actual work that they would need to do to solve the problem appropriately. We did come up with a solution. We just dumped clark on it but don't let him drive don't, no, no, don't drive it.
Speaker 1:He would hate. They would hate. Yeah, and I mean that's why I asked like could, could you fire them? They would hate. For you to actually come back with an assessment like these guys suck, there's no fixing this, like that's not what they want to hear from you, I promise you, if you come back with that like, no, there is a way to solve this problem. We hired them because they're good at their jobs. They just need the right guidance to be better. Like it is the classic cyclical cycle of somehow their mistake is your problem.
Speaker 2:Not in their head, though that's what's crazy is like I can tell it's genuine.
Speaker 1:I can tell it's genuine. I can tell it's genuine like they.
Speaker 2:They genuinely think I provide value there and they they generally don't want me to drive the thing. They want these people to drive the thing, but they still want me there. So I'm just struggling with what am I being held accountable to if it's not in my control? And okay, let's play devil's advocate. I need I need you and me flip our brains.
Speaker 1:I thought about this from the other end All right, I'm a leader.
Speaker 2:I've got all these efforts. I know I need to split them across the teams for load balancing, making sure we're tackling all 20 of our priorities or whatever, making sure everybody's focused on one. But I know this person is good at this thing or they got domain expertise in this thing, so they should probably help. Yeah, so do you do. You say great, you know I want them to be part of it with you. Whoever's driving it? Like you need that SME? I get it. But I think what I'm struggling with is I don't think I would hold the SME accountable for the success of the thing. That's not their problem. If that team fails to deliver, they were their problem. That's what I'm trying to think like devil's advocate. It's like what is being asked of me to be accountable for. I can show up to everything I can recommend. I can say, hey, do it this way, this is the way to do it. This is the update. But if they don't do it recommend, I can say, hey, do it this way, this is the way to do it.
Speaker 1:This is the update. But they don't do it. Devil's advocate, this is an opportunity for you to be presented as hey, we're going to give, we're going to give clark this kobayashi maru problem here and it's. There's no actual way to win. But we want to see how clark does this, because we're going to promote clark to vp and we want to see how he can handle this cross-team management responsibility. Do you think that's the case? It could be. Promotion season ain't far away, is it? I wouldn't know it is. It is for me. I mean, that could be. I've never worked for a corporation that cares about people that way or thinks that way. But if I was thinking, how do we test Clark to see if he really is upper echelon material? Let's give him a problem that's a little unsolvable. See how he approaches it. I mean, promotion season is just coming up, so they, so they tell me that's my devil's advocate.
Speaker 2:You doubled it, doubled my devil's advocate with the devil's advocate, and it could be valid, but it doesn't help me. What do I do?
Speaker 1:Well, if the problem is truly unsolvable, then minimize the damage. Amputate what you need to cut. You know like, how do you take this problem? How do you take this problem? Turn it into bite-sized problems and solve the little ones. Can you get percentages of improvement? That's probably where you go, because I don't think broad strokes is going to cut it here. It seems like you are being tasked to do something with people that are just, you know, probably past their prime or not good fits for the role. So how do you Mighty Ducks it? To use a reference that everyone understands, everyone knows the Mighty Ducks. How do you?
Speaker 2:Mighty Ducks, this problem, yeah, it's going to take so much effort.
Speaker 1:How do you minimize the effort? Can you delegate to your own team? Can you find a way to do to your team what leadership has done to you? So hey, jack, you're really good at optimizing pipeline operations. Jermaine over there really struggling in that regard. Can I get you to help show them how we do it? So this way you're not doing everything. Can you tree sort this thing? Redelegate the delegation? It's an interesting idea.
Speaker 2:What I hate about that, though, is that I bring my team into this, and I hate that.
Speaker 1:I hear you. I hear you, but at the end of the day, they know what they signed up for. And I also think there is something I've learned in management in the last over a year, now that I've been a manager it's okay to bring the team in. Sometimes the team wants to be brought in. They want to share in your pain. My team seems to like sharing in my pain, so I share it with them. If this is not correct and you're listening to this episode please tell me otherwise.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, that's incredible.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's not a bad idea.
Speaker 2:I just wanted to level set with you. Level set me, am I? No, no, that's why I brought this whole episode, cause I'm like am I crazy? Did I just hear that right?
Speaker 1:That this is a top tier priority, but don't actually drive it, just let other people do it but help. That is not surprising to me at all, at all. It's just classic corporate leadership, big corp infamous for this kind of move like I. I promise you, when capitalist correspondent correspondent Alex Restrepo listens to this episode, it's going to trigger things for him and he will go post it in the Corporate Strategy channel in our Discord. Find out how to get to that channel later. But this is just classic big corp.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, it was disheartening. It was disheartening. I'm like great, so I'm going to be evaluated not on getting things done anymore. I'm going to be evaluated for helping other people get things done that I'm not directly accountable for Bingo.
Speaker 1:Devil's advocate to the devil's advocate. To the devil's advocate. You triple, triple. Angel's advocate to the devil's advocate Shall we, shall we play a game? Yes, please, angels advocate to the devil's advocate. Shall we, shall we play a game? Yes, do you want to be an upper echelon leader at a company that does this kind of stuff? Because you realize principles start. The next step for you start. Yeah, the next step for you is if you thought that was fun, how about that all the time? It's not a bad point.
Speaker 2:It's not a bad point.
Speaker 1:People ask me like what's your next step? Where do you want to go? And I say down, as far down as I can possibly go. If I can keep my pay and do less, be responsible for less. Please send me down, Send me to the depths, the bowels of hell, so long as I can keep my paycheck. I don't want this responsibility. I don't want your problems. I want to burn in the depths.
Speaker 2:Do you ever get opportunities that are good to go down? Is that a thing that's ever happened in the history of mankind?
Speaker 1:I pray every night that it is.
Speaker 2:You're doing so great, I'm going to demote you, but keep your pay. I'm going to demote you because you're so good at what you do.
Speaker 1:Now you can really focus on this thing you're really good on. We're going to take away some of your other responsibilities.
Speaker 2:What kind of fantasy land, monopoly world? Are you living buddy?
Speaker 1:I'm more likely to work with elves and dwarves than I am to have that fantasy come true.
Speaker 2:Well, it's an unsolvable problem. Hopefully someone out there listening either A is in the same predicament. They learned something about how I'm viewing it, or maybe they realize I'm being asked to do the same thing. Shoot, I'm really concerned at what you just did. I don't think you picked it up. I saw you do something weird and I'm really concerned at what you just did. I don't think you picked it up. I saw you do something weird and I'm concerned.
Speaker 1:Hold on, let me try, let me try again.
Speaker 2:Don't do it, don't. How dare you?
Speaker 1:I figured, since I heard something, I think, I think it came through.
Speaker 2:If you heard it, it came through and you know what it is.
Speaker 1:You know, you know, you know. It's a new segment of our show called find the fart. Welcome to corporate strategy. We have three different sub shows we don't follow through on. Our latest is called find the fart. Did you catch when the fart happened on this episode? Be sure to tag it in the discord. We'll tell you how to get there. Later it's gonna be in the find the fart channel. Don't worry, this is real. This is real life. It's happening to all of us.
Speaker 2:I need to put in my two-week notice right for the holidays uh, we, uh, we're already at 46 minutes.
Speaker 1:We're. We do have an is a mirror as a corporate that we need to do someday. But uh, let's do, let's do the. What does it mean? What does it mean? All right, we got a bonus episode is a mirror.
Speaker 2:As a corporate, we've been sitting on this one forever. Let's do like a very quick episode. Before the corporate strategy rocked. I'm saying it now, edit this out and it's out. We're not going to do it just, we're just saying okay, okay yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:We're going to promise them so much stuff and we're going to do none of it.
Speaker 2:Upper management mindset yeah, we cut, we cut it.
Speaker 1:We cut it from the roadmap no longer Didn't have the budget yeah sorry guys, it didn't have a good outlook on our kegger. You know what I'm saying. What do you mean? What do you mean? The game show in the podcast? It's a game show. Go to our what Do we Meme channel and submit memes. We got them. I love, I love the one individual contributor posted on 12.2. Absolute blessing. You want to take it? You want to take it, Clark.
Speaker 2:I'll take that one.
Speaker 1:Describe this meme with your mouth parts.
Speaker 2:So if you haven't listened, I think two episodes. Back now we did our first Corporate Strategy Raw episode in a mall because it was Black Friday. So of course an individual contributor posted all these news articles about Florida men, two Florida men, and it goes on to say Florida men record podcast in shopping mall on Black Friday. And we're right up there with all these. I can't even say some of them. I'm like reading them briefly. I can't even say some of them. On the podcast Florida man run over by own truck during road rage. Florida man hit boyfriend with plate for listening to too much. Alanis Morissette.
Speaker 1:Florida man Rob's gas station, leaves job application behind with identifying information.
Speaker 2:I love it. And now two guys doing corporate strategy raw at the most random places in Florida you could ever imagine. We made the list.
Speaker 1:Living up to the Florida man legacy.
Speaker 2:Welcome to Florida.
Speaker 1:You know who's not up to the Florida man legacy. Welcome to Florida. You know who's not ready for the Florida welcome.
Speaker 2:Who's that?
Speaker 1:Mickey D.
Speaker 2:They're not ready?
Speaker 1:They're not ready. Corporate Strategy, rod Mickey D. The week after Christmas. The week of Christmas. Who freaking knows when I'll post it? It's a wild time ahead. You have no idea what's in store for you on Corporate Strategy, the podcast. It could have been an email. I'm Bruce, he's Clark. Hey, if you want to join our Discord we've been teasing it the whole show because I know you want to know. All you got to do is so simple, you silly goose. All you had to do this whole time. You're already listening to the podcast. The power was within you all along. Click the show notes. At the bottom is a link tree. Everything's there. I told you you're a silly goose.
Speaker 2:I see it Was that easy. Was that easy the whole time?
Speaker 1:You join the Discord, you have a good time. There's lots of good conversations in there. We have. What do you mean we have? Is it me or is it corporate? You can do an honest confessions and we'll reply to them on the show eventually, one day, maybe. There's really great conversations about jobs and tech and what it's like to be miserable in the workplace. It's all there. It's all there all the time, just for you. Join it. Hey, if you want to keep our show ad-free, which it is right now in that link tree, you silly goose, you can buy us a coffee, and it's not. Actually the money doesn't go to coffee, believe it or not. It goes to the funds that come out of my bank account that keep this show going. So if you want to keep the show going and keep it without ads, hey, buy us a coffee.
Speaker 2:What else can they do? Clark, listen, we need you to share, share the podcast. We've had a lot of good people join the Discord, so keep on sharing with friends. Keep on joining the Discord. Encourage your friends to join the Discord. If you don't like people, send them this episode because they'll probably want to kill themselves after. So hey, it's a perfect time. It's about sharing, it's about giving, it's that time of year. Share the episode. Make sure you get people you love, people you hate, in.
Speaker 1:Give them the gift of corporate strategy. Hey, I didn't get my friend a gift for Christmas. What do I do? Hey, I got you covered, my man. Do a share link. Share a link to corporate strategy, the podcast. That could have been an email on Bruce E Clark. You went in because you wanted to say it. I was literally right there and you took it so close I did.
Speaker 2:I brought it from you, no me, I'm, no me, me, I'm Clark.
Speaker 1:I think I'm broken. Clark, you know what else is broken?
Speaker 2:Are we still live? We've got to end this.
Speaker 1:We have to end this. Hey, clark, we've got three weeks to the end of the year. Let's make it a good one. Huh Shall, we Cheers to that, cheers to that. Let's turn the page on this. Double click, deep dive, net, net. Soup to nuts, this whole thing Just soup to freaking nuts Until next week. I'm Bruce and I'm Clark, me Kim and you're on mute. We will see you then next time. The Corporate Strategy Podcast I'm Bruce, he's Clark.
