Corporate Strategy
Corporate Strategy
158. Well That's Embarassing
Bruce and Clark explore embarrassing workplace moments and reminisce about social media evolution, from MySpace's customization to Facebook's strategic growth, while discussing cringe-worthy corporate experiences.
• Reflecting on the rise and fall of various social media platforms
• Bruce shares his transformative experience at a Panchakarma wellness retreat
• The hosts catalog workplace embarrassments like camera mishaps on virtual calls
• Stories about notorious office characters including "the chair sniffer" and "lobby pooper"
• Discussion of bathroom etiquette and the unspoken rules of professional spaces
• Tips for meeting scheduling to respect everyone's time and comfort
• The importance of reading a room's "temperature" to avoid awkward situations
Please share your own embarrassing workplace stories anonymously in our Discord using /confess - we'll feature the best ones in upcoming episodes! Join through our link tree in the show notes.
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need to meet my notifications. It when I like the second. I typed in said join. I started getting slack messages from from work. That ain't okay that's all that. Ain't cool, do not disturb me in my domicile of podcastery, do you?
Speaker 2:not understand the criticality of what I'm in right now. We talked about it last episode. We said you, you type in, slack me, you're fired, fired.
Speaker 1:Gone.
Speaker 2:Gone.
Speaker 1:Don't want to speak to you ever again. We're not friends anymore. Don't do it Unfriended. If this was Facebook, our relationship status would be not friends anymore. We go right past it's complicated into no longer friends. If this were Myspace, If this, were my space.
Speaker 2:I love that we both went there right after friend list. You got bumped.
Speaker 1:You got bumped, you're out um, that just you know you're. You're a little young for my space. I'm surprised that's what.
Speaker 2:That's what I've been told. I've been told that too. But yeah, I was on the MySpace gang when it came up.
Speaker 1:You're not that much younger than me, but like, at the same time, a lot happened in those years where you was a child and I was a young man. You know, like some things did happen and I'm surprised you. Did you have a MySpace? I did Whoa, yeah, whoa. How old were you? That's too young for a MySpace.
Speaker 2:I can't remember, I must have. When did you get one High school Early?
Speaker 1:high school, yeah, okay, so you had to have been. Mine was late elementary, no way well okay myspace was around for a minute, so that makes sense. Like you probably came in after myspace had kind of done its course, like you know, still still a child, still a bambino. You know, your, your friends are all in the MySpace, but I was when I got to college. I was part of the early Facebook people, so it was, I think I was like one of like the first 300 on Facebook Because my college was one of the early ones.
Speaker 1:Zuck enrolled yeah.
Speaker 2:It's so interesting. Huh, myspace was awesome because you could customize everything, like you could come up with your own backgrounds, put them on the background of it. You could have your own like typeface, like. That's what I actually loved about it, because when you went to Facebook, everything was so vanilla Like it was all kind of boilerplate. Yeah, it was all blue, you got like a banner image, you got a face image.
Speaker 1:That it's like you can customize. You land on someone's myspace and you're like, whoa, this is you. Yeah, well, I remember, like when facebook blew up, myspace then became like oh, this is the place for music, right, like myspace is for music and bands and facebook is for people and friends. And then myspace kind of just died, sadly. Poor time, much better platform. Yeah yeah, poor Tom. Well, tom, I mean was exited a very rich man, so that's true, like didn't have to ever work again, just living his best life.
Speaker 2:He had so many friends you know Everybody was his friend.
Speaker 1:You had to yeah, and like what a good way to go right, like he doesn't have to ever work again. Everyone looks at him with respect, like, oh, he pioneered the good social network. You look at Twitter, you look at Facebook, you're like I don't like those people, both on the platform and on the platform. It's a wreck. No one looks at Tom that way.
Speaker 2:He exited at the right time to your point. He peaced out and that was probably the right move. He probably could have made a lot more money, but still the right move.
Speaker 1:I don't know if he could. I think MySpace was doomed to fail Because the thing Facebook did that MySpace didn't was it had the exclusivity, and I think, in all honesty, that caused it to blow up because everyone wanted to be on it. Originally it was only colleges and then you could only get on via invites. It just became this, like they did the whole relationship status thing and then it was like very much just because it was so collegiate and young. I think myspace had a lot of people, very different age ranges, but, like there was a time when it, like facebook, was all high school college, like 90 of the user base high school college. And what happens when something is like the cool, hip thing, the old people come in and then like that was it, it, just it. It managed to hit the exact right momentum with every demographic to to grow up and become the success that it was, which is funny because, like I have not been on Facebook for like 10 years now. Same, you know, like yeah, oh, wow.
Speaker 2:I haven't been on Instagram. Instagram I've been on in like nine years.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't even log into our corporate strategy account Cause I don't know how uh it's because we lost old. I've never felt so old. Well, I have the password, I have the login, but every time I tried to log in it would say you're a bot and I'm like, I'm not a bot, what are you talking about? So I'd use, like, my phone number and then that wouldn't work either and it's just like I'm done. I hate meta, I don't like zuck, like whatever. Whatever. We're not gonna be on Instagram.
Speaker 2:Just screw it. Say that you're a boomer without saying you're a boomer. That's how you do it, folks.
Speaker 1:Well, here's the thing. You can call me a boomer all you want, but if I can't get on your stupid platform, like, is it a me problem or a you problem? It literally thought I was a bot every time I tried to log in. Like literally thought I was a bot every time I tried to log in. Like well, I think what it actually is is because those, those platforms are so informationally invasive. I have a whole home ad blocker and it, you know it, garbles my searches. It doesn't give personal information away, so I think that was actually preventing me from getting in. And, like you know, zuck's got to get every drop of blood out of you when it comes to your personal data. So I was just tripping up their systems and I refused to give them anything.
Speaker 2:So you're like this seems like suspicious activity because it has no PII associated to it at all.
Speaker 1:So because I don't want him on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a bot. You can't be on this. You're a bot.
Speaker 1:I think it's exactly what it is and I don't care enough to actually make it work.
Speaker 2:Fair enough. You know, one day, we'll actually start posting on social again. Yeah we will.
Speaker 1:One day, one day. We'll probably hire someone to do it. You know, once we really hit it big with that one episode that just goes viral, then we'll do it.
Speaker 2:Or the baby onesies just start flying off the shelf Right, and then we turn on commission for 1% and then boom, millionaires.
Speaker 1:Overnight, overnight, millionaires, overnight. I love this. I love this idea. Good, I would love to be a millionaire, you know what else I'd love. What's that? Welcome to Corporate Strategy Podcast podcast. It could have been an email I'm Bruce and I'm Clark hey, clark.
Speaker 2:Hey, how's it going? Do you want to do a podcast? No, okay, and you're on mute. See you next week. Peace vibe. Check how you doing one day we'll actually do that vibration inquiry vibration for your analysis I'm doing better. I was really behind for a long time thousand emails, hundreds of teams, messages, slacks all this sort of nonsense going on and I was in a dark place for my boy, david Allen, getting things done.
Speaker 1:I'm doing his pose.
Speaker 2:I'm doing his pose right now.
Speaker 1:You see me doing the David Allen pose.
Speaker 2:I love that. We both looked at each other and leaned in the right direction and we both were in sync. That was incredible.
Speaker 1:We both knew the worst book cover I've ever seen. But so you're doing. You're doing, getting things done, I'm doing better I'm doing, getting things done.
Speaker 2:I am not all the way through my email, but through the slacks and teams messages and my organizations. Is is in place, like I have a plan for next week and I feel much, much better good, could you just select all those unread emails and hit the delete key?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, there's a time expiration. I feel like for my organization I feel like every organization has this where it's like these go to archive at some point, and I think like two and a half weeks is archive. It's like, if it's not still coming up after like two and a half to even two, probably no longer relevant and it was taken care of.
Speaker 1:Yeah, does that seem like the right time span to you. Absolutely. If anything is generous, I say a week. If the email hasn't been responded to in a week, it's technically no longer relevant. It is as obsolete as a compact PC in 1999. You know what? I'm saying dog, you are a boomer. With it. Yeah, you are a boomer, it's official. Yeah, let me go install XP.
Speaker 2:Oh boy XP. Oh my gosh You're too young for XP. Xp was garbage.
Speaker 1:XP was garbage. Xp was the best.
Speaker 2:XP was the best until 7. Millennium.
Speaker 1:Edition, which is what I used, was garbage.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was XPp on crack. Millennium. Bad windows server, all bad vista trash eight straight jail underrated. You think so? Eight for me, I trash.
Speaker 1:Eight got rid of the start bar, but I didn't mind that as a mac user, and eight was the first one that could fast load on an ssd, so it was actually great for gaming. If you don't use it for work, eight was great mate it was great.
Speaker 2:No, but 10. 10 is when they finally fixed. I think eight was when they were stuck in that era of are are we a mobile first or are we a desktop PC first? And they just had an identity crisis and it was a nightmare. I have two operating systems. I've got this tablet-type thing that I never use, and then I have my desktop and that's, that was 8. Yep, and most people couldn't figure out how to get to the start button, which made it trash.
Speaker 1:Just hit the key on your keyboard. Just hit it, just whack that key. Like comment subscribe, whack that key. Can't believe I'm defending Microsoft, but like people made such a deal about the start bar and like for reals y'all, do you not use keyboards? Do you not alt-tab to select your apps? Have you seen someone who's not in tech use a computer? Yes, I've seen people who are in tech use computers. It's maddening.
Speaker 2:It's painful. You see them using it. You're like dude hit tab, just hit tab, that's all you got to do.
Speaker 1:I would love to find a data point, and maybe our listeners could do this for us. What's worse, computer literacy or actual literacy? I have a sneaking suspicion. But yeah, people don't understand technology at all anymore. It's going to get worse with AI. It already has gotten worse.
Speaker 2:People don't understand AI and AI. They're going to get worse with AI. It already has gotten worse. Yeah, People don't. People don't understand AI, and AI is they're going to use it for everything. So therefore, technology is going to be like oh, who cares about that thing? I just AI everything.
Speaker 1:Anyways, how are?
Speaker 2:you before we go down that road. How are you?
Speaker 1:I'm you know pinkies up, I'm, I'm doing, I'm doing. There's a lot of things going on. I don't think we ever talked about what I did. I went on a retreat and was covered in oil for three hours a day with intense Thai massage. It was a good time and part of the experience of this hippy-dippy function was like having you know this sort of mantra you repeat to yourself and I said you know, I don't believe any of this nonsense, but I'm going to go along with it and buy in and so like I'm going to be stress-free and like, in all honesty, I have been stress-free since the retreat and like my life is not stress-free at all right now. It's absolute chaos, but I'm fine, I'm really fine. Like I don't feel like things are affecting me the way they used to. So I think it worked kind of wild, but it did work. Everything is a nightmare at my job and everything is falling apart, but I'm doing great, I feel great.
Speaker 2:I don't even know where to start with what you just said to me Good, is this real? I was going to stop you mid sentence to be like what are you talking about? And then I was like I'm just going to let him rip and like see where this goes. Did you actually go on a retreat?
Speaker 1:like what you got to tell me more. Yes, how did you get roped into this hippy dippy retreat? My wife and I sarah who was on the pod we went uh to uh, it was in. It was a like a it's called a pancha karma uh experience. So it's, it's an indian sort of mystic thing that they've, you know, obviously got a little place. For you know, there's lots of different pancha karma retreats, so it's it's like this whole thing where there's four.
Speaker 1:It's not humors, it's like it's not tempers, but like there's parts of the body. You know, there's your uh, there's your ground, there's your fire, there's your water and there's your air. And if those things get out of balance, you know there's your, there's your ground, there's your fire, there's your water and there's your air. And if those things get out of balance, you know that leads to stress and strain and tribulation. So, you know, every morning we would wake up and do yoga for an hour and then we'd have a very bland breakfast and then I would go off and have a treatment done and the treatment was called panchakarma and it's basically a very just, insane amount of oil, like literally gallons of oil, like multiple gallons of oil, uh, poured on your body and massaged, and then more is poured and massaged. It's hot, it's hot oil and it kind of hurts a little bit, but then you get used to it and it's like hurts so good.
Speaker 1:Um, the my my therapist, literally got up on the table and used her knees and walked across my back and it was like the most wonderful feeling I've ever felt, just like the strain and stress of my life just left with the knees digging into my flesh. But then more oil, more oil and oil in the nose, oil in the ears, oil on the forehead. They do this thing where they put, and this is the one thing I hated. I hated this. I had to lay on the table and they would literally pour like a slow little stream of oil on my forehead to activate my third eye for 30 minutes and I wanted to scream for the entire time, that's Chinese water torture.
Speaker 2:That's literally what it is.
Speaker 1:Apparently some people love it and it's great. And I did tell them the second day. I'm like I really hated that. I know it's included in the price of this thing, but like can I just sit in the steamer for longer? Because like the steamer was nice sit in a little pod and have hot air on me. And then she was like, well, I'm gonna put on a meditation, a guided meditation, for you, and that will help calm your monkey mind. And I'm like, okay, and it did. And it was kind of weird because then the guided meditation made it very headspace trippy, so I would do that and then I'd have the most bland lunch of my life. All the food was incredibly healthy, which meant it was disgusting.
Speaker 1:No sugar and then in the afternoons we would go to town and just see like museums and stuff, come back, have another incredibly bland dinner and then we do yoga again and, uh, this was my day for every day for about four days. This was four days. Yeah, it's great what are we doing?
Speaker 2:was it local.
Speaker 1:It was around here. No, it was, it was in Gainesville, okay.
Speaker 2:So it was two hours from where I live, northern Florida. Yeah, okay, okay. How did you stumble upon this we?
Speaker 1:wanted to do a wellness retreat because obviously, if you've listened to the pod at all, you know I'm a very nervous, stressful person and we thought, like this, this could help. My wife found it highly rated, highly reviewed, looked at a couple different places in Florida and this one was the top, so we went there.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, all right. You know I'm not a person who judges. I'm just curious how all this works. And if it worked for you, I mean like I would probably be skeptical, like you were, like going into it and be like this is weird, but I'm all in. Yeah, I would be all for it. I'd be like, let's do it.
Speaker 1:I'm bathing in oil today one one evening the yoga practice was, I forget it's called like sleep yoga, so you literally just lay on the floor and close your eyes and do like very specific rhythmic deep breathing, while the instructor is like guiding you and the goal is to get into sleep while you're awake and then do an affirmation in your mind. So it's like I'm gonna be stress-free, I'm gonna be stress-free and uh, it was really weird and again uncomfortable, but I do like I'll tell you what man I am not. You go into sleep, do you go?
Speaker 1:into sleep while you were awake. I did, I did, I did do the thing. Um, yeah, it was weird. There's a lot of weird stuff, but, like you know, went into all of it. How?
Speaker 2:long ago. When did you do this?
Speaker 1:uh uh, early feb early feb. Yeah, yeah, it was I mean good for you.
Speaker 2:It's been all it's been. You know it's end of march and you're still stress-free it worked.
Speaker 1:It truly did. I I feel stress-free. I think a lot of it was just like learning to breathe better. Yeah, uh, you know the importance of like understanding what's in my control, what's out of my control, you know just stuff that we all know. But then doing it in practice really helps. And then getting to a good state physically of just like having the, the kind of massage that I had done to me for three days straight, like I think that really helped too. So you know, I I highly recommend it. Uh, from a it it helped me get in a better headspace and I feel better. But you know, to each their own.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, it's like those type of things. I feel like you have to just go all in and it's worth it to try it, because it gets you out of your comfort zone and it brings your body and mind to places that it's probably never been. I did a week long retreat when I was in college and it was no phone, so it was no technology for the whole week. Every day you would fast for like a good 18 hours.
Speaker 2:Oh and so then you would just like you'd be in your thoughts, super hungry, and like you would. Basically we'd have quiet time, we would go off in nature and we'd just be like by ourselves. And you're supposed to think through affirmations, things like that, and you're supposed to just do that by yourself. And it's supposed to like train your body and your mind to be more in tune with each other and for you to kind of like reset your life. In a lot of ways it was intense, but it made a huge difference. Like after the third day you're like I don't feel so hungry anymore, I don't really need to think about all those things that I normally stress about, and life feels like I'm in the moment, not just like living in it. It was really interesting.
Speaker 1:That is interesting. Was it called something? I don't think there was an actual name. No, Just some rando came up to you and was like hey, we're going to go in the woods by ourselves for a week and you're not going to eat.
Speaker 2:It was with a group of like leaders in my college, like some of the top performing athletes and academics, and it was just so we could like I don't know if they were investing in us or what, but it was like so you could kind of see what your body and mind could do, were investing in us or what. But it was like so you could kind of see what your body and mind could do and we would have all these leadership discussions and we'd have really cool people come in and like talk to us.
Speaker 2:but it was a wild, they were masks at night I mean they did and and there was, you know, some blood involved, you know, just to form those lifelong bonds knew it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I got you, I got you but no, it's really cool, I'm gonna hit up when I need my next loan absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let me know, let me know, I know a guy, yeah, I bet you those things are crazy because, like, if you've never done that before, it just takes you completely to a different place. You're like my body can do this, I can live like this. And then you get back to the real world and it's like this is weird like I've got a different perspective.
Speaker 1:Hit that McDonald's and you're like ah, you know what, I'd still take this over that.
Speaker 2:A Big Mac. I'm going to go into just straight food coma after this.
Speaker 1:Big Mac extra large fry extra, extra large Coke, extra Coke in the Coke. Now you're living.
Speaker 2:You've never lived so good in your life. Edm music, maybe some vaping in the middle, just really reset your life back into gear.
Speaker 1:As you take your tooth bones, your mouth bones and just sink them into that juicy Big Mac and the Mac sauce rolls down your cheek. You just hear Inyes sing an only time in the background.
Speaker 2:It's got disgusting so quickly. And speaking of disgusting, I've got something to talk about today. Do you really? Now I do, I just had to transition into it. I thought about it from you again, but I'm going to let you have it. No, you can't. Well, I mean, you are kind of now, but I'm going to go into it anyway. We had a debate before we brought Kregers in here. We said are we going to do something serious or are we going to do something ridiculous? And I said let's do something ridiculous. You agreed let's have some fun. I want to talk about the most embarrassing things to do at work, either that you've done or you've observed of others, just to share some fun little stories. I see your face.
Speaker 1:Do you remember? Do you remember you weren't on my team? Uh, I don't want to ever like be mean to people that don't deserve it, so I'm going to try and do my best here. Do you remember when we first started working with folks at a different site let's just call it Roseville, minnesota. That's a code name. That's a code name. There would be some people, there's a person who would be on camera and we'd have the camera on a projector so you'd see the big old face projected on the wall and this person would just dig for gold up in the nose all the time. Yeah, and we're just like this is great. In the meeting room looking at the time no.
Speaker 1:This is great In the meeting room looking at the projector, this person going to town Never knew I don't think anyone ever told them that we can see you they were on camera officially. They knew they were on camera. Why they did this, I don't know. Maybe it was just a habit, but yeah, they were digging.
Speaker 2:That's rough. That is one of the top most embarrassing things is on virtual calls, when someone turns their camera on and they don't know their camera is on. It's like the cringiest thing, because I feel like everybody just goes silent. What are they going do like? What's gonna happen? And most of the time it's pretty tame, but sometimes you see some stuff that you can never unsee.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's why my one of my old bosses. Uh still a very good friend of mine. Uh accidentally turned his camera on when he was in the shower no, yeah, no, fortunately, fortunately. Fortunately, there it was all above the belt. But uh, yeah, didn't? He joined like a team's meeting and didn't realize like the camera turned on, uh, as he was taking the call.
Speaker 2:Yeah oh my gosh, that is so bad. So I've I've done things like close to that, like I'll be like getting ready in the morning. You know I'll have a call, like whatever. I gotta listen into it, and like my shirt might be off, doing my hair, whatever. My phone's just on the counter and I accidentally turn my camera on and so you can't like see me. You're just looking up at the ceiling, right, but then you like lean over.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm talking about you lean over your camera and you're just like, oh, like you get that face, that like, oh crap, am I doing what I think I'm doing? And you hit it real quick and you're like, how long was that? How many people saw like you go into that panic mode because you're like, what did they see?
Speaker 1:and you just hope you don't get a call from hr after that yeah, I, I've never actually had a camera snafu, ever, yeah, and I think it's because, like I've always been when I've been remote, I've always been on camera, so I've always been conscious that the camera is on and I'm on, as is the camera. So it's never happened to me. But, uh, I would say the most embarrassing that's ever happened to me is I've written things in slack chats, not realizing it was not the slack chat that I thought I was in. Uh, in all honesty, it was for the best, like I remember one time it was like I was calling this person out and like they're like why are you being so mean to me? And it's like you know what actually you need, you need, you need to know this.
Speaker 2:So this is actually something that you should be aware of, oops.
Speaker 1:Should have checked the. Should have checked which DM group I was in, but you know you needed to hear it.
Speaker 2:So that's, that's life, oh man that's tough, yeah, that's tough, yeah Cause, oh man, that's tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's tough, yeah Cause then you're just like.
Speaker 2:I mean, were you remote at the time or was this like a hybrid situation?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, this was like at my current job, okay.
Speaker 2:Nice, yeah, well, you know at least, at least it got off your chest, I guess, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know why not Like embarrassing in the moment. Yeah, absolutely Heck yeah. I don't know if I've ever done that. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever seen?
Speaker 2:I don't think I've ever done that, because I've always, at least, been good about anything I say I know would be fine and anything I post, if that makes sense, like I've always played it pretty safe when it comes to writing, I'm not yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, I'm bad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, oh yes, I'm bad. Yeah, yeah, for me I'm like I just if I'm not gonna say it to the person and if someone asks me something, then I won't post it, but if I would say it straight to their face then I'll post it anywhere, and so that's how I kind of look at everything that I say.
Speaker 1:It's like it will always be okay, no matter what channel this goes into part of me hopes that, like slack and teams will get compromised and everything I've ever written they'll get read. And then they well, it's out there now it's out too bad, ain't it? Yeah, um yeah, I I write a lot, I I do a lot of back talk and part of me, I think I think part of it is because I wish I could say it to the person directly. But you know, kindness is what holds me back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I think when I think about the most embarrassing things I've seen, they're all kind of related to what we're talking about now. Like the whole camera turn on and you're just like, oh man, what am I seeing right now? And you know, everyone's watching that one camera. In the meeting with a thousand people, everybody's got the camera up as one person and you're like this is going to get juicy, this is going to get juicy quick. I've seen some of the worst things I've seen is for the communication standpoint. I've seen a leader who one of the people on their team, sent them an acronym that seemed like this really motivational thing.
Speaker 1:Oh no.
Speaker 2:It was super motivational. Like you read through it, it's like A is for you know, achieving our highest success. And then they just went through this whole entire acronym and they didn't care to vertically read what the acronym was.
Speaker 1:What Are you kidding me? And?
Speaker 2:so they sent it out. They sent it out to hundreds of people, never reading, if you just look vertically down the bullet points, what the acronym actually said. And that went out to hundreds of people and I remember walking into the office. It just said like. I think it said like f someone no it did no, yeah, it got sent out.
Speaker 1:I know how do you not see that? Like part of me thinks that like there's some malicious. You know someone behind the scenes who worked on that was like let's see if they actually read you know, absolutely yeah, so that got sent out to a lot of people.
Speaker 2:I remember people coming in that day and like, immediately turn around and be like did you see that? You know? I'm like what are you talking about? Like, oh, you'll know, you'll know when you see it, because it's out there and that was probably the most like for me, the cringiest thing that's ever happened, because I'm like, oh my god, that's a leader that just sent that.
Speaker 1:That is bad yeah, I'm, I'm betting they didn't write it. They had one of their disgruntled admins put it together and, uh, literally they. You know this is just desserts. That that reminds me of. Do you remember the email we got from the um, the fired support employee that wrote his manifesto? Oh, yeah, yeah, the three page long like, yeah, yeah, big corp is evil and you know they don't like this, this race of people. I'm like, oh my gosh, this is this, is really going for it. Huh, like, just put it all in there, put it all out there with the final that was embarrassing and, uh, the funny thing was like it recalled the email, but it was too late.
Speaker 1:Everyone already saved a copy locally and they're like please destroy any copies of this email and remove it. It's like who's going to do this, like who's actually going to listen to what you have to say right now.
Speaker 2:You know what's even worse? I actually haven't seen it in a long time. I don't know if it still exists In Outlook. When you can recall emails, you know what I'm talking about. Like you'll send it and they'll say like bruce bangers has recalled this email, and it's like everybody already got the original email yeah, I still have a point why did?
Speaker 1:you would recall, means nothing I don't understand the recall feature. It's never worked for me like I assume it's supposed to remove it from your inbox but it never has, so like why?
Speaker 2:why yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Weird. I agree it is weird, but yeah, those are. Those are probably the most cringy things that I've seen, Cause you just know you're like, Ooh, this is rough. I also think simpler stuff. We're all humans, but open in the office can be embarrassing no. If it's loud, if Can be embarrassing no.
Speaker 1:If it's loud, if you're blowing something up, be proud.
Speaker 2:Okay, be proud. I just gave you a sound when you're blasting Brown.
Speaker 1:Make a sound, you know Like, don't be ashamed of yourself. That's your body doing your thing. Blast that ass. You know what I'm saying, you know I don't like that at all.
Speaker 2:You know what just came to mind when you said that Something you told me a long time ago and I'm going to say it here because I thought it was hilarious. We were talking about do you go to the bathroom when you're working or do you do that at home? Is that like stealing company time and you're like? Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime and that's why I poop on company time, classic that's older than you or I put together.
Speaker 1:Tell you that right now, that was so good and it's true. I love that, it's true, I would. I like, I would definitely, uh, wake up some mornings because you and I and our friends used to carpool together. Maybe, like I can hold this till I get to the office. For sure, absolutely nothing to be embarrassed of. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what's embarrassing is the time this company's taken from my life. So I mean, I ain't gonna waste it at home, I'll do it all right other simple bodily functions you're about to present.
Speaker 2:You take a sip of water, it goes down the wrong pipe and you just start coughing oh my gosh. Yeah, that one's so embarrassing because you know you're like oh, I'm in the middle of this slide like there is no other choice but for me to sit here right now and cough and drink water and say, oh sorry. And then you gotta wait and everyone's watching you and you're in the front of the room and you're like this is tough.
Speaker 1:This is a tough look yes, that one is embarrassing, I would say that one forgetting that you had a video playing or something on your laptop and it plays through the speakers, even if it's an Oculus. It's just like I don't want people thinking I'm watching videos, even though everyone does it. Like you know, it's like Yep, the Raid Shadow Legends ad just started Great. Now everyone knows I play Raid Shadow Legends Fantastic.
Speaker 2:Our sponsor today play Raid Shadow Legends fantastic, our sponsor today is Raid. Shadow Legends.
Speaker 1:Raid Shadow Legends oh, the worst game on the phone. Um not muting yourself that's rough. I've heard people like yelling at their spouses yeah, I have too.
Speaker 2:That's just embarrassing. Yeah, uh, huh, yeah, I have too.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's just embarrassing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're sitting there like this is not okay yeah, that one, that one borders HR.
Speaker 1:You know what do I do? It's embarrassing for us but not for them. It's just we've talked about this a lot in the discord is, uh, antiquated speech people using phrases and terms that are no longer it's not politically correct, it's just not nice, right like inconsiderate speech. And you get it a lot from upper management and leadership and they think it's totally okay. And I'm just sitting there like man, if you're under 50 you're gonna find this offensive like holy cow. That that one's really embarrassing. And then they, they don't feel embarrassed at all because they're all rich and old and white it's almost like worse.
Speaker 2:It's like embarrassing for for us, because you're like that's my boss, so that's someone on my team like I don't know to address this. And then it's more like cringy for everybody else. You're like, oh my gosh, this is happening right now. What about? Oh, another one Getting like too drunk at a company party or outing? That's tough.
Speaker 1:That's a fireable offense, absolutely. People get fired from sales kickoffs and just work from drinking too much, making a fool of yourself. I've never seen that happen, though, personally, really.
Speaker 2:I had someone come up to me and like they wanted to be part of my team, but they drank a little too much that night and they were talking to me and they were so confident and I'm like you're slurring, you're wobbling back and forth, you're not making coherent sentences and I'm just like nodding, I'm like yep, I'm like this is tough, this is a tough. Look, I am definitely not bringing you onto my team.
Speaker 1:I think I'm lucky. I have never actually experienced like the drunken stupor of the, the drunk salesperson before, and like my people the people I work with drink a lot, but like they're able to keep it, you know, like keep it under wraps, hold their own. I think I'm lucky in that regard Cause I I remember hearing about some of the sales kickoffs at the big corp we used to work at, uh. Hearing about some of the sales kickoffs at the big corp we used to work at uh. People got lit and they would commit acts of debauchery and like crash rented sports cars into fountains, like yeah, and they didn't get fired for it either that's insane insane.
Speaker 2:That's why.
Speaker 1:We know one of the people who did that too.
Speaker 2:Oh really, we got to talk later.
Speaker 1:I don't know how they got away with it, but they kept their job.
Speaker 2:Speaking of crashing or some sort of like vehicle accident, we had a. We had a contractor come in and they rented a car. So they flew in, rent a car, came to the office. We have those spike things in our parking lot. We're like, because you have to badge into the parking security strips, yeah, and so we have those security strips. Yeah, they straight up drove over the ones that were up and had four flats.
Speaker 1:That's an honest mistake Like that one. They're a contractor, they don't know Like. I don't feel so like.
Speaker 2:I mean, there's a stop sign a huge red strip Like it says do not enter.
Speaker 1:Like what are you doing? Okay, the more detail you're giving here, the worse it gets.
Speaker 2:It wasn't like a small. Oh, I'm actually backed over it. It's like no, you just straight up ignored everything, probably not paying attention. It went right through it.
Speaker 1:Four flights well, that's rough yeah, that is rough and expensive. Uh, hopefully they got that rental insurance. Yeah, I'm trying to think I feel like I feel like we're missing a big one that both of us like lived through, like there's been some, there's been some really embarrassing things that, like our leadership has done and I just can't, I can't muster the memory of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what about a simple one like spilling something on yourself and having to go back to the office from lunch? And your pants are just drenched and you're like yeah, like this sucks I've seen people go home before.
Speaker 1:They're just like I I have to go home you know I'm not living with this I spilt chowder all over my outfit today.
Speaker 2:I'm just going home like yeah, I paid a white shirt. I just dumped my coffee on and now I have a brown shirt. I don don't want to be here.
Speaker 1:Wardrobe snafus. That's something we really don't have to worry about anymore, which is nice. Yeah, that's true. Well, I mean, you still go to an office, but as someone who's fully remote, I have my work shirt on and gym shorts, so I'm living the dream. Don't have to worry, I always know how I look because I see myself on cam.
Speaker 2:But in live in the dream, don't have to worry. I always know how I look because I see myself on cam. But uh, in the olden days, wardrobe could betray people.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah you would see like a button undone or a fly down. Yeah, yeah, those are tough. What do you do like? I mean similar, similar is like at a restaurant. They got the big old piece of lettuce stuck between their teeth hanging down. They look like a freaking vampire rabbit, you know what do you do?
Speaker 2:I tell. I tell the person yeah, I at the fly thing, because I'm a dude, I will come and be like hey, flies under, like just really quick, and then like I'll walk on dude.
Speaker 1:Yes, dude, dude, it's okay, but like what do you? Do if it's like you know, somebody don't know that. Well, big old piece of spinach just dangling, just dangling yeah or just a booger in the nose boogie yeah, sticking out a booger in the nose boogers just hanging out of there and you're like, oh, I want to tell you.
Speaker 2:So bad if I'm not gonna do it yeah the problem with all those is like, if you're in a room with people like, you can't do it discreetly. So it's like you, just got to live with it. That's tough.
Speaker 1:Speaking of being in a room with people, something I don't miss about office culture at all is the smells, and this can go many different ways. Right, like you've got the I just doused myself in some exotic perfume that's going to cause poor Bruce to have an allergy attack. You've got the I work in tech and I don't believe in deodorant and I smell of homelessness. And then you've got the even weirder like what is that smell? Like it's around this person, but I don't know what it is or someone.
Speaker 2:You burn popcorn in the break room or you eat fish. You eat fish and you're just like god damn, who did it?
Speaker 1:who did it and why would you? I remember they like they told us not to do popcorn for a while. Do you remember that, like there was a sign up in the break room like do not cook popcorn in the microwave. Yep, I remember that You've lost privileges, which is just embarrassing in itself, as like a company full of working functional adults, like we don't know how to cook popcorn.
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, it's so true. It's so true. I remember one embarrassing thing I've done. I was in a meeting room and I always I mean I'm drinking out my water bottle. This whole entire meeting I drank a lot of water and I straight up just knocked my water bottle over on my keyboard in the middle of the meeting. Nice, that was nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was a good one. Did it pry the keyboard?
Speaker 2:No, it was actually, so I quickly flipped it upside down, side down your paper towels, it was fine oh nice, I mean that goes from embarrassing to cool real quick so that's what I did. I'm like actually capable. Yeah, I feel like I just didn't care, like I don't know if I just lost that for for where I work, but it was like a super quick thing and it would have been embarrassing, but I was like paper towel dealt with.
Speaker 1:An hour later everybody was asking me hey, is your laptop again like it's fine your reaction dictates the level of embarrassment and that's probably why, like the owgs that just say the weird racist, sexist stuff, like they get away with it because, like their reaction, I don't care what I just said. Like you spill water, you're like that. I got this no big deal. I, I did it intentionally. Sometimes I spill water to check my own reaction times on things like okay, now you've taken it from embarrassing and turned it into some kind of weird mastery skill like oh yeah, you know, I like to burn popcorn. It's great for your olfactory senses. Actually, it really opens the sinuses. That's why I do it.
Speaker 2:Like, oh well, I guess I'm the idiot then a quick self-deprecation or a joke diffuses the whole situation like if you you start choking on water. You're like I apparently forgot how to drink water today, Like everybody's like. Oh, that's kind of funny.
Speaker 1:It does deflate the situation real quick. Okay, I do remember one. Have we talked about the chair sniffer on this podcast before? I don't think we have. It's a classic. Certain listeners who I've worked with may remember uh, how could you forget? We did have an individual, uh, on the sales team that I was on, who would go and sniff no, no. After certain individuals would get up and walk away, he would go and sniff the chairs to see if he could smell the body scent of these human beings that he clearly desired in a non-plotonic way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were fired for that, but they were caught. I can't imagine being caught Like you're bending over nose deep in the chair, mid-sniff, like you look up and someone just what face do you make? Like what face do you make in that moment when you're? Seeing someone pop in chair.
Speaker 2:You know you slowly back away and hope they did not see you. That is how you react to that situation.
Speaker 1:If I walk into a room and that's happening, I'm slowly walking out yeah, I mean, if I see it, I have to address it and be like what are you doing? You call him out. It was down there, uh drop a pencil looking for a contact, oh man my mind went to that actually of like how you pull that off.
Speaker 2:I was like just every single time, just so you drop the pen and you're just reaching for it, give it a quick whiff on your way down. You know you can hide that.
Speaker 1:That's your thing, you can hide that I think if you're face deep in a chair, breathing, breathing, breathing deep, the spice, the spice melange, I don't think there's no recovery. You can say whatever you want, but I know, we know, everyone knows, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's tough. Yeah, it's tough. Yeah, that's embarrassing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, don't be a chair sniffer. If you've took anything away from today, don't sniff chairs call to action for this pod.
Speaker 1:so, on our discord, we've done this thing called is it me or is it corporate, and you can do a forward slash confess, to do an anonymous confession in that channel. For for for the next month, I want to suspend Is it me or is it corporate? And please share the most embarrassing stories in that channel. Just do forward slash, confess, type in your story. It will completely anonymize what you type. We will not know who you are or or what this is, and it's probably for the best that we keep it that way. Please send us your embarrassing stories so we can read them on this pod, because now, now that I'm thinking about the chair sniffer like I'm sure folks have some really disgusting good ones that I would live for some really rich ones we would.
Speaker 2:We're gonna die. I'm gonna die laughing every day that I see one of those.
Speaker 1:It's gonna be the best thing in the world yeah, what's crazy is I lived through Chair Sniffer and Lobby Pooper in a year time frame. Two of the most impactful, weird moments of my corporate life happened in that tiny window. I've talked about Lobby Pooper before I think multiple times, so no need to bring that one back up. But you know, it was good at Big Corp. Things were good. People felt really comfortable. That's all I gotta say. But you know, it was good at Big Corp. Things were good. Things were good at Big Corp Things were good.
Speaker 2:People felt really comfortable. That's all I got to say.
Speaker 1:They sure did. They sure did you know you brought the bathroom. I would say like the only embarrassing thing I can think about the bathroom is like when you've failed the art of going to the bathroom masterfully, Like I do remember. Like like there was one individual who would just like run into the bathroom like it might as well have been screaming and like slam the door heavy, breathing, just like bro, this is not like some kind of olympic sport. Like let's be professional about this, you know. Like don't pro tip if there's multiple stalls in the bathroom. It doesn't matter what bathroom you're in. There's multiple stalls. Always pick the one in the end, unless it is not available, and then you space. You do the gaps, give space to your neighbors, don't pick the one right next to them, please.
Speaker 1:That's embarrassing even they don't even know who you are, but they're embarrassed for you because you have no etiquette yeah, I agree and listen.
Speaker 1:Some people have medical conditions but like if you're sprinting you need to go to a doctor and like get that, yes you know, uh, the only logic I can think of is, like, maybe they're, they're trying to, uh, they've mastered the art of like the league of legends gameplay break, where it's like, oh, I really gotta go. But if I hold it long enough then, you know, once I'm between rounds of my, my legal legends game, I can run to the toilet, do my business in like five seconds and then run back uh, which you know, just all kinds of questions about sanitariness and and all that aside, like, yeah, that's the thing thing people do. Maybe they're at mid-meetings. I gotta do the mid-meeting 26 seconds.
Speaker 2:I gotta sprint. Imagine this is your picture in my mind. If you get out of a meeting, it's like we done, we done. It starts sprinting down the hall the scream is what does it?
Speaker 1:you know you got to get to your next one. You got to get to it. So it's like the italian job of pooping at the work. I've got 30 seconds. I've got 30 seconds to do everything I need to do before I ask you to my next meeting, and I crap my pants.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to crap my pants if I don't do this right now.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know, respect, I'm not embarrassed for you, I'm proud of you for being able to master your life in this way, you know? Just pro tip. One more pro tip. Well, one more pro tip, please. If you see, if you're the person who's scheduling meetings and you see that everyone you're inviting to your meeting has a meeting beforehand, give them a little courtesy, five minute. Really, this meeting starts at 105 today because I saw everyone had a meeting beforehand and you know what they will thank you. Not only will they thank you, they'll be like I, like that Clark guy. You know he's a stand-up human being. I didn't go through my dehydration spiral today because he gave me five minutes to get some water. Just a pro tip, you'll look good. You'll look really good to both upper management and the ICs.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:Everyone needs that five minutes.
Speaker 2:Another pro tip, because another embarrassing thing is when someone gets too angry or too flustered in a meeting. Don't read the temperature of the room. Don't go above the temperature. If you're the only one going above the temperature, it's awkward for everybody and everyone's just like. That's embarrassing.
Speaker 1:Who sets the temperature?
Speaker 2:I think you do it collectively okay, because sometimes it's some meetings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, some meetings need to be intense. Like sometimes it needs to be a little bit more like accusatory in your face, dropping names what did you do? Why did you mess this up? But, like, I think it's, it's not what you're saying, it's how you're saying it, like if you're just screaming and repeating yourself like a buffoon, not a good book but like if it's intentional, if it's meaning agree, use that temperature in the room and, yeah, just be, just be cool, just be cool. Right.
Speaker 2:Be cool.
Speaker 1:Be cool. That's all it is. Cover yourself in oil. It's so easy, anyone can do it.
Speaker 2:Drip, drip. I just can't believe you did that Soaked in oil Did you shower, while in this had to. Afterwards.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like they give you a robe, because on the way back to your room it's like you are covered in oil. Just, you are like a chicken wing about to go under the batter, you know? Yeah, mm-hmm, put me in a steamer, I'm gonna be real tasty, I'm a tasty little nugget, please, no, well, it's fun, that's good, good topic. Yeah, I I really again. Please send us your stories, please, we need them I need it. There's never been a better time. Yeah, Need it. Need it. How do they join the Discord Clark?
Speaker 2:Well, okay, let me walk you through it. Okay, all right. Sure, you're listening to this podcast. Somehow we're in your ear hole, you're connected digitally to something or you've got Elon's chip in your brain. One of the two Scroll down. Or use your brain to scroll down, or, you know, use your brain to tell it to. You know, scroll the page a little bit. There's something called a link tree, a link tree, and you click on the link tree and in the link tree there's a whole bunch of links and one of them is discord, and you literally just click the button and you join the discord. It's completely anonymous, so maybe that's a barrier to entry. You don't have to. You don't have to out yourself.
Speaker 1:I haven't even out of myself.
Speaker 2:People don't know who I am. A few people do. Not a lot of people no clue who I am, so you can be completely anonymous. You can lurk. We have a lot of people doing that and that's cool. Come Enjoy. Have fun Read about lobby poopers and chair sniffers.
Speaker 1:Get in there. A lot of good peeps in there too, there are. What else is there Clark?
Speaker 2:There's a whole bunch of stuff. You can support us by baby onesie. There's a whole entire store we get nothing from. You can buy mugs, you can buy gear. You can buy all that stuff and you can also just you know buy us so you can contribute to our, our little infographic, but you don't have up. By the way, I'm kind of ashamed of you. You're supposed to have the meter of how much money we've raised to Pepsi man, and right now it's still a zero.
Speaker 1:So let me pull that up right now, real quick. Let me just oh okay. Okay, so we've gotten quite a few donations at a whopping zero right now, but they keep coming in, their nations keep coming. So maybe by next week, this time we'll be at zero. Just you know, you think so. Stay tuned, stay tuned.
Speaker 2:I think we'll reach the stars there. I think maybe under commit over deliver, maybe we'll go negative, maybe we'll give away money.
Speaker 1:I mean, that is what happens every week on Corporate Strategy. The happens every week on Corporate Strategy.
Speaker 2:The podcast is coming in an email. We're going in the negative towards it. I mean, maybe people just don't want Pepsi man.
Speaker 1:I mean, it's true, pepsi didn't want, pepsi man Do you see Pepsi man around anymore. He's gone. He is in wherever the mascots go when they decide. This ain't putting money the way we thought it would.
Speaker 2:He's out there somewhere in the world RIP.
Speaker 1:Like little Pepsi man has got his little empty Pepsi can jingling for change inside of the road, shaking it. We'll work for Pepsi.
Speaker 2:Poor Pepsi man. We'll bring him back to life. We'll bring him back what else you can? Uh, you rate our podcast please we love these things yeah, we need a rating.
Speaker 2:Share it with all the people who have embarrassing stories to share. That would be great, because I want more stories. So, please, now's never, never been a better time to say hey, there's this magical place that you can go and you can just say anonymously anything you're really embarrassed about. Please go do it. Listen to this episode and go do it and contribute back to the world some positivity.
Speaker 1:If, if if, if, if, if, if you have someone you work with that you just think sucks, send them. Find an episode, because we've done over 150 of these things. Now Find an episode that's like hey, this might address your issue. Just say, hey, charlie, I've never told you this, but like howdy, howdy, charlie, I can't stand you, but I think if you listen to this episode, I'd be able to tolerate you a little bit more and then share that episode with them.
Speaker 2:Just you know yeah, just be like you, kind of suck, but this podcast will make you better.
Speaker 1:It should help, and if it doesn't, then my assessment was right. Yeah, say it just like that. So they're like oh, what Like?
Speaker 2:I need to change yeah. Yeah, or or actually I've got a great one. Say, hey, I just told the most embarrassing story about you. Oh my gosh, and be like you, better join, because I'm not, you're not going to see it anywhere else.
Speaker 1:But all these people know this about you now, yikes, yikes yikes, I forgot we weren't supposed to use personal details and dropped your name in there. Maybe you show up and like deny the whole thing. Yeah, put your link in there. Maybe you show up and like deny the whole thing. Yeah, I put your LinkedIn in there.
Speaker 2:I hope you don't mind, just wanted to make sure I added context to the story. You better get in there and like, defend yourself. This is a great plan. This is a good plan.
Speaker 1:So that's your call to action is share the story and then send it to the person who you shared it with, because, god help him. We're going to read it aloud. Absolutely, I think that's it. I think that's it All right. Well, you know, until next time, stop sniffing chairs.
Speaker 2:I'm Bruce.
Speaker 1:And I'm Clark and you're on mute. We'll see you next week. Goodbye, If you did something. I did not hear it.
Speaker 2:I didn't hear it. This sounds impressive. I did a really loud sniff Because it just felt so right. I don't hear yours either. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Discord mutes the sniff. That's sad, that is really sad Okay.
Speaker 2:Hey, for everybody who's still listening, we both sniffed in the microphone a really long drawn out one just to set the mood.
Speaker 1:I saw Clark bend over and dig in with his nose like a hog sniffing a truffle is this two episodes in a row?
Speaker 2:a truffle hog has come up and Pepsi man has come up. How?
Speaker 1:is this happening? You're right, I don't know. My mind is on truffle hogs.
Speaker 2:I want a truffle hog.
Speaker 1:Name him.
Speaker 2:Bert, have him hang out. Bert the truffle sniffing hog Bert, the truffle hog. He also sniffs chairs. That's a side gig.
